An African Wedding

Usually when I start to write these weekly letters, I can never remember anything to write home about because I feel like absolutely nothing happened in the week... but, well this week was completely different... and it all started this past Tuesday.

Tuesday: My companion and I were in the middle of teaching a member at her small restaurant right behind the Stadium, when all of a sudden I get a call from who else but Brother John from Kodjoviakope! He had told me in previous weeks that he wanted to come and visit me to say hi! Being a missionary, I told him that was fine but that the visit couldn't last too long because we still have missionary work to do. Honestly, I didn't know if he would actually find the time to come or not.

Me and Brother John! Same as always!

But, he did! We walked across the stadium to go and find him! It was really great to see him and we were both really happy to see each other. All in all, we went back to my apartment to drop off all the stuff that he brought to me... he gave me carrots, oranges, apples, a 24 pack of Sprit/Fanta cans, and a couple of other gifts. Frankly I was so surprised and I really didn't know what I did to deserve all that stuff but, I was really humbled by it. John said it was just a way of showing his appreciation for the work I do as a missionary and the help that I gave him while serving in the Kodjoviakope group. We talked for a little bit but then we walked back to the stadium so he could get back to Togo! Thank you Brother John! 

Wednesday: A day that started out pretty normal... had a nice lesson in the morning, rendez-vous planned all through the day... ahhh what not to like?! And then, as we went to our second-to-last RV of the day, we find out that a marriage that I didn't even know was going to happen between our amis Ismael and Betty was going to go down... this SATURDAY. Apparently, Ismael had been working with our branch president to figure out all of the details for the wedding arrangements and the proper documents needed in order to be legally wed. And apparently, Ismael wanted to get baptized the same day as the marriage so that his wife could attend before going to Nigeria for a month. 

So, after getting all of that straightened out, I told him that we needed to see each other pretty much every day until the marriage/baptism... there were so many logistics that had to go into getting this to work and as I go through the rest of the week, you will see what I mean. 

Thursday: Now feeling the pressure from the upcoming baptism there were so many things I had to do: (1) call the first counselor to President Morin to interview Ismael for his baptism (2) figure out when the baptism would be and where it would be (3) teach/brush up on all the lessons with Ismael so that he would be ready for the interview. Frankly I just wanted this week to end so badly because I just couldn't help but think of all the things that could possibly end up not working out... but I didn't give up and I endured to the end! 

I ended up going on a split with Elder Mejean (from France) so that we could teach Ismael and his wife at the same time... let me explain that last phrase... Ismael comes from Benin, so he obviously speaks French but his wife Betty comes from Nigeria, and she only speaks English. And there was just way too much material to cover so I had to bring Elder Mejean so that he could teach Ismael in French (my comp isn't experienced enough to know what to teach and what not) and then I would teach Betty in English. At first we wanted her to get baptized too but because she would be traveling to Nigeria early Sunday morning, she would not be able to make the confirmation so we decided to hold off on that until she gets back in October. 

I was really happy with the lesson though because I was able to see that Ismael really remembered very well everything that we taught him and he was really prepared to be baptized! However, I think a lot of the credit goes to the fact that his family are members in a different branch and they have been encouraging him to get baptized and that helped him to be really familiar with the beliefs of the Church. Meaning, everything we taught him was stuff that he was already willing to follow! 

Friday: Friday morning I went down to Fidjrosse to attend my very last Zone Conference of my mission... it was a little bit surreal to be honest, but the lessons were really great and I had a great time. My companion testified for the first time at his first Zone Conference... and then I testified for the last time at my last Zone Conference (yeah, those kinds of things have been popping up a lot with him... his firsts, my lasts). I'm a bit sad that that was the only Zone Conference I would have with President Morin as he has some great plans to advance the work in this mission.

Cool picture of the storm that came after Zone Conference

Afterwards, we headed back to the Branch in Menontin because the Zone Leaders had three baptismal candidates that needed to be interviewed... also, we had to be there because I had managed to set up the interview with President Morin's first counselor and Ismael, which went very well! The three that I did were the very first interviews that I had done as a District Leader and they went well. Despite the fact that one of the couples I interviewed spoke French at a very basic level, I could really tell that they had the desire to be baptized and be in this Church... they had been attending for so long, but with all the marriage stuff, they hadn't been able to be baptized and they had been amis for almost a year. 

Anyway, those interviews weren't supposed to last too long but because everybody was late to their interviews (surprise, surprise Africa!). But, all went well.

Saturday: This was the day we had all been waiting for. We woke up early (before 6) so that we could get ready and meet people at the branch in order to take them to the marriage in Calavi. My couple getting married was going to go there themselves so they didn't need a ride but Elder Mbala and Mejean's couple did need a ride so the Office was nice enough to give us a ride to the wedding.

The view from Calavi branch.

The marriage was supposed to start at 8 but it actually started at 8:20, which I was really mad about because I thought it was actually going to start at 9 (because usually they tell people to come an hour earlier than you're supposed to, for African Standard Time). The reason why I was mad was because my couple hadn't gotten there yet! ARGH! Africa time strikes again! 

So, I took Elder Merrill and stood on the side of the main street to help people find the building (people can't miss two white guys in missionary attire). Thankfully I did that because my couple finally did arrive and were finally able to make it to their wedding. 

To give you an idea of how weddings work, you need to know that it's very hard for people to get married here because of the immense amount of paperwork required by the government as well as the dote (dowry) that has to be paid (which is usually expensive). Thankfully, through the negotiating of some Church members, we have been able to find a guy who can marry people for cheap and with little paperwork! So, we had about 10 couples from around Cotonou come to the wedding ceremony to get married. 

The upstairs pavilion... by the time everybody got there, the place was packed.

So, you might be wondering, what does a Beninois marriage consist of? Well, let me tell you... nothing very special. The mayor comes and basically gives weird council to the couples. My favorite was this: "Even if you are going to the marche to go and buy eggs to make omelettes and your husband is in bed, you need to go and tell your husband that you are going out." Other than that, I did not listen because this guy ended up talking for almost 2 hours about things that quite frankly were pretty dumb. At one point, he even talked about making tea or something and everybody got a little chuckle out of that as we don't drink tea! 

Betty and Ismael exchaning vows

After that, all of the couples went up to exchange vows... some of the couples chose to do it in Fon, others in French... it was funny to see Betty go up and exchange vows because she's Nigerian and doesn't speak very much French. However, the funniest part of it was whenever the couple had to "prove to the mayor that they loved each other" (ie KISS!). It's funny because people here do not kiss... "public display of affection" does not exist out here in the slightest sooooo all the kisses were super funny. However, I'll give it to Ismael and Betty because I'm pretty sure that they had the best kiss out of everybody as it looked natural and loving... and not like two 7 year olds kissing each other from peer pressure (that's the best way I can describe the other kisses).

After that, they had to sign the big book of weddings, as I call it. I think that's to legally record that they were married. The couple signs it as well as the witnesses. It was romantic.

Signing the book!

Afterwards, everybody took pictures with the mayor and then pictures of all the families. I was thankful that it was at Calavi because it's a beautiful building with a great view of the lake! It made for some great pictures. 

Us with the Newlyweds!

After all of that, we hopped in the back of the assistant's truck to go back to the apartment to get ready for the Baptism at 3 PM. Once we did get to the Aibatan branch for the baptisms, we found that nobody was there to unlock the building (oh the Sisters were late... surprise, surprise and it's their branch building!). Thankfully, they came right on time at 3 PM, but forgot the fact that we had to prepare for the baptism by getting people in baptismal clothes and setting up chairs (thankfully Elder Jenkins and his comp had filled the font a few days before). All in all, it went pretty well. I gave a talk and my comp did the baptism and everything went nice and smoothly. Though, it did end up taking like 2 hours to do everything.

At the baptism!

(Elder) Semeha the Baptist (he ended up baptizing like 4-5 people so he got plenty of practice).

But, with all that running around, we were WIPED OUT at the end of all of that. I don't think I had ever slept so well on my mission. 

Sunday: Thankfully, Ismael came to Church on time and I was able to confirm him as a member of the Church! And then to cap everything off, we went to Jericho later in the afternoon to celebrate Elder Hank's birthday at a member's house who promised to prepare "American food". It wasn't really American food, but hey it was salad with cucumbers, radish, chicken, balsamic dressing, etc. I'll give them credit, it was the most American salad I've ever had here! Then for the second course we even got spaghetti and fried potatoes with balsamic vinegar, my favorite traditional American dish! It was good nevertheless! 

Party at Jericho! Oddly enough, Elder Hanks (the birthday man is not pictured). 

So yeah... that was my week in a nutshell for you guys! It was crazy and I'm glad to be everything turned out well.  My hopes are that this week is a little less hectic, but as I've come to learn in Africa, you've gotta be just about ready for anything and everything!

Thanks for all the prayers everybody! Hope you all have a great week and a great Labor day! Elder Mejean says that he loves you guys too! Oh that little Frenchy.

Love,

Elder Hawkins

Family picture of the yovos.

Elder Silvas and I... had to take a picture of my man in his sharp suit.

You Just Gotta Do It

Another week down and many more to go... not that I'm counting or anything, but you know...I did just past my 10 month mark on the mission! Almost on the other side of the mountain! 

This week started out pretty good... after the Cyber last week, we went to family home evening at the group, Some of the group members have been really hyping up the family home evening from last week... saying that there was going to be a huge surprise and everyone should invite their friends and what not.

Well, Elder Haggard and I were skeptical to say the least. A lot of times people hype up things and they never turn out as expected. And, family home evening has been super boring the past couple of weeks. We start a 1/2 hour late, then we talk about some random subject that is pretty boring, then we answer really weird and not funny at all French riddles... like here's my favorite: Name three pieces of women's jewelry that start with a b... the answer is boucles d'oreille, bracelet, and bague. Wow... wasn't that funny and witty?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh wait, nope... that wasn't even a riddle. Then we end with a prayer.

However, this past week was an actual good family home evening. First of all, tons of people came and we had a short little spiritual message (like it should have been!), then a game (which was the only weird part because they segregated the members and the non-members.... errr... awkward), then... the best part and the key to any successful Mormon activity... FOOD! And we got good food too, meaning not patte! We ate some Ayemolo which is just rice mixed with beans and pima. They brought out a HUGE cooler filled almost half way full of it (we're talking one of those big coolers that are like 2.5 ft by 1 ft by 1 ft! It was good, but well... for some reason African's love seeing white people eat African food for reasons unknown. So, when they gave Elder Haggard and I our dishes, they asked if we liked pima and we told them of course we did, but they forgot that gospel principle about taking things in MODERATION. So they just gave us two spoonfuls of powdered pima, which is the hot stuff. 

And let me tell you... with the already poor circulation in the church building, Elder Haggard and I were sweating up a storm. It was tough to get through our plates, but we did end up persevering to the end... but my goodness I have never sweated so much from eating spicy food in my life. I remember someone telling me (I think it was fro) that the reason they eat spicy foods in hot climates is because they make you sweat, thus making you feel cooler. Let me just put an end to that rumor and tell you that that is NOT AT ALL TRUE. Eating spicy foods in hot, humid climates just makes things 100x worse. Not only does it make you sweat even more on the outside, but it starts to burn everything on the inside too! 

Elder Haggard with the spicy Ayemolo... note the sweat face... 

However, the Family Home Evening was still successful. Everyone had a fun time and ate pretty well too, even if I did sweat like a pregnant fish (not sure what that means, but Elder Owusu would always say that!)

Other than that... the week was pretty uneventful... taught a few lessons, made some mac 'n' cheese, finished off the jar of knock-off nutella I bought last Monday in less than a week... I also found out that my hands and bleach, laundry detergent, and dirty clothes really don't mix well together. My knuckles are destroyed and have tons of (what feels like) popped blisters on them... on the bright side, I don't think my hands have ever been cleaner than after I do laundry! 

Something pretty cool did happen yesterday however... As I explained a few weeks ago, Africa time is pretty ridiculous... people will always promise to be on time, but they never, ever do! That being said, when Church starts up at 9, the turnout can be somewhat of a bummer and can get you down a bit. Still, before the passing of the sacrament, we had an alright turn out... kinda what you would expect. But, the real miracle came AFTER the sacrament. Kinda like back home, after the sacrament there were about 20 people who walked in (including an ami who came for the first time!) and the room was absolutely packed! To the point where we had people standing up! 

Now, the reason why we had so many people there was because of the initiative of the members. We gave them the ward list a few weeks ago and they have, since that time, gone crazy in visiting the inactive's and what not. Now, because of that we have been seeing a lot more people at family home evening and as of yesterday, at Church as well! 

That just goes to show that the missionaries are not what keep this Church going, they are not what make branches/wards stronger, and they are not the key to success... really, it's the members doing their part in visiting/home teaching and being true examples of Christ! Sure, the missionaries are very important but there is no point to our work if those who we bring into the Church just fall inactive... if you think about it in a family perspective, that's like a family adopting some kids, then the said kids run away and the parents don't even going out to look for them! What is that?!? That's not right! 

Anyway, my point is that it's the members that really keep this church going. Remember, President Hinckley said that we, the members of the Church of Jesus Christ are the symbols of our church. We need to be an example of Christ in helping our brothers sisters, whether they be those, strong active members for their whole lives, or our inactive neighbor, or even just a stranger... it doesn't matter, but the key is that we show our religion through our character and example.

You know, that reminds me of another cool thing that happened yesterday in Church... let me tell you a little bit about "Brother John." To tell you a little bit about him, brother John has been a member of the Church for about 4 years. He found the Church in Nigeria (he is in fact Nigerian) and has stuck with it ever since... he even still has some of the original pamphlets that the missionaries gave him back in Nigera! He moved to Togo not too long ago but he managed to find the missionaries out here in Kodjoviakope and was able to have them show him where the Church building was. 

Now, because Brother John doesn't speak Ewe or French, he is only able to get a moto to take him half way to the Church and then he has to walk the other half to the Church (about 15-20 minutes). Sometimes he comes on time, other times he comes late because of the walking, but despite that he still comes to Church just about every week. 

His faith is what really is the amazing thing here... he comes to Church even though he understands nothing that goes on! During the second hour, I usually translate for him which, I got to say is still tough because his English and my English are very, very different. As hard as it is for me to understand him, I'm sure that it's really hard for him to understand me too. Despite that, he always thanks me and appreciates the service I give to him.

Now, this past Sunday, because he came early he sat next to me. I've never translated for him during sacrament before because he has never asked me and I don't think any of the missionaries before me ever did translate for him either. Sitting in sacrament, I was thinking about how I could help him understand sacrament meeting... I couldn't just talk to him like I usually do because that would be distracting to everyone else and, because we have no microphone, might make it hard for others to hear. So, I decided to whip out my planner and to start just writing out what people were saying. 

At first, Brother John was confused as to what I was doing but then he realized that I was writing down all the talks in English for him so that he could understand! The smile on his face was so big when he saw that I was writing it out for him! I asked him after the first talk if he could understand what I was writing. He said he understood everything perfectly (probably better than when I translate regularly for him!) and he just kept smiling and thanking me for what I was doing. I think he felt bad for me too because my hands were sweating up a storm because it was so humid! 

I'm just happy that I was able to do this little service... remember, service doesn't have to be perfect (I am not the perfect translator), service doesn't have to be a planned project (I did not plan that at all!), and service doesn't have to back breaking (just palm sweating!). I don't think I can completely understand the impact that I have on translating for Brother John, but I know that he appreciates it greatly and it makes me happy that I can help him out. 

Just remember what Christ said...

"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

That's my message to all of you today... go out and serve! Doesn't matter who, when, or where... you just gotta do it! 

Love you all!

Elder Hawkins

P.S. I keep forgetting to tell you but a few weeks ago, you will not believe what I found on a moto the other day...I found a FRED BEANS Doylestown license plate on a moto! I would have taken a picture but it was getting dark and I think we were late to something but I thought that was the coolest yet strangest thing to find out here in Togo!!!

 Me helping out one of our amis Gibertine... I'm making "gâteaux" which are really the farthest thing from cake. It's really just fried dough. It tastes okay but... wellllll... there are better things to eat. Nevertheless, thought I could lend a hand and flip some greasy dough! To reward my efforts, our ami even gave us a nice meal of patte at the end! I think that's a true sign of service... doing something even with patte as a reward.

Note from the Fro: Well what can I say?  Service. Just do it!  :)

And speaking of service....PLEASE send letters (or hey, a package if you're in the mood!) for Elder Hawkins' upcoming Birthday (Oct 10).  I know he would LOVE it more than anything! Look on the side bar of the blog for his address.  It doesn't change!  Thanks for showin' the love.