Now Entering the Final Phase

Lala not ruining our quarterly Kunz, Seidl and Hawkins Photo.(in warp drive!)

Warp drive is over. Well, almost over that is. 

When I first got on my mission, time passed so slowly. Every day felt like a lifetime, an eternity. When I was with my trainer, Elder Kiputa, I felt like everyday would last forever. Everything was so new, so foreign to me, and so different that there was so much for me to process during every waking minute. For a long time, I would always say that the longest part of my mission were the three weeks that I was with Elder Kiputa... not that it was his fault or anything, but it was during those first three weeks were I felt the newest in my whole life. 

So, I asked Elder Hanna about that... way, way, way back when we were still together. He told me that the way the mission works is that the first six months go really slow, then the next year goes by super fast, but then the last six months go by very slow, once again. 

Well, I'm at that point now. Like I said, warp drive is over as I now enter the final phase of my mission. The final 1/4 of my mission. I will say that warp drive over this past year has been really crazy. A lot of stuff has happened within this past year and it's hard to believe that the greater part of my mission history has already been written. Of course, that's not to say that the last part won't be just as good as the mission has been so far... most bad movies are bad because they have bad endings! So, you know, I have to end well! 

If my last six months on the mission really do turn out to be slow like the first six months were (I have a feeling that it probably won't be as slow!), I guess it's really only for my good so that way I get to savor the rest of my mission! 

It's really weird because now, all those things that were so foreign to me and so strange to me, are now actually good things! I've gotta make sure I eat all the patte that I can... it's weird too because sometimes I actually crave a little bit of well prepared patte with a good fried fish. I know that I'm pretty weird for thinking that, but you know what they say, things just have a way of growing on you! 

Don't get me wrong... Benin still drives me crazy on a day-to-day basis but there are certain things that I know I'm going to really miss here that I need to really take advantage of. Like the pignes and the other traditional fabrics. Like honestly, the stuff we have back home is so boring (except Fro's stuff!). Like seriously, who invented plaid patterns? Vertical and horizontal lines. Really? You couldn't think of a more creative design?!?!?!?!?!?!

As you can well see, I think I am going mentally insane here as the two things I will miss about this place are patte and fabric. 

But anyway, this week has been pretty average though. We had Zone Conference again this past week and it was good, though very long. President Weed gave his very last Conference this past cycle so it's going to be weird to have President Morin teach us in August! 

It will also be interesting to see what the future holds for me until that next conference. Elder Lala and I got some news today that we would be receiving a new companion this week. His name is Elder Izekor, he is Nigerian, and he has almost a year on the mission now (feels like he didn't get into the mission field too long ago however!). It will be good to get somebody new around here... it's so easy to fall into bad habits when things don't change and things aren't shaken up! I'm excited to be able to work with him... also, all I need is a Togolais companion to complete my West Africa companion collection (Ivorian, Ghanaian, Beninois, and now Nigerian). Unfortunately, there are no Togolais serving in this mission nor are there any scheduled to come here for a while so I feel like my collection will be left incomplete *sad face*

This shake up comes at a great time though. Our sector is really hurting and really needs to be shaken up as well. On Sunday, during weekly planning, I had counted a loss of about 10 amis from the past 2 weeks! Let me tell you, that's hard to come back from. This week we were scraping by, trying to find people to teach. The few amis that we have aren't very enthusiastic either. We almost got a scare from one of our progressing amis, Anni, when she went on a trip to Togo for the weekend and then when we called her after the weekend, she told us that she moved! For a while, we thought it was outside out sector, but thankfully after searching for her new place for over an hour, we finally found out that it was right on the boundaries of our sector... yeah! 

Hopefully, with Elder Izekor, we can find ways to get new investigators that will progress! I think that will be the best thing everyone can pray for this week for me... that we find new investigators to teach, investigators that are willing to accept the gospel and receive the blessings that are tied to the gospel! 

Well, I don't have too much else to say but I want to thank everybody for the prayers that have been said for me! They are very much appreciated. Love you guys and hope that you continue to find joy and happiness in your daily lives.

With love,

Elder Hawkins

Pics and Videos from our Mother's Day Google Hangout:

Elder Lala ruining our quarterly Kunz, Seidl and Hawkins Photo!

Well, it's rainy season! That's my next door neighbor scooping water out of his home with a dust pan... just life in Africa. Also, oddly enough, our apartment, that's on the second floor, flooded a little too. I guess that's what happens when you have slitted windows and doors with huge gaps between it and the ground.
Ca va aller.

Peacock at the French Institute... we were teaching a lesson to a recent convert and this guy was just chilling with us. Then he hopped up on the little canopy thing (which is very poorly constructed) and there was a guy near where the peacock had jumped up and he was so scared that the thing was gonna collapse!
Oooooooh peacocks. Always wreakin' havoc. 

NOTE FROM THE FRO: We had a GREAT time "hanging out" with our missionaries on Mother's Day yesterday.  Elder Hawkins called in first and during the last 45 mins of his call, Sister Hawkins joined in.  One of the things we miss the very most is watching these two interact with each other, they are so funny together! Here are a couple clips of some funny moments. Love these two!!! (also, check out that counter on the right side bar, under 200 days left...wooohoooooo!)

Be Anxiously Engaged

Elder Hawkins: Being Inspired (apparently I have two different colored eyes too).

Inspiration is a funny thing. 

Throughout my mission, I've been trying to figure out how "inspiration" works. I still haven't quite figured it out, nor do I think I ever will to be honest! 

In missionary work, I find that I hear inspiration all the time. God inspired a prophet to call us here... Prayer will help you receive inspiration for your amis... Inspiration comes from a variety of sources, the best of which being the Holy Ghost... etc. In fact, the word "inspiration"/"inspire" appear almost 50 times in Preach My Gospel! To somebody who wasn't in my shoes, they might seem to think that we're inspired just about every waking moment of our mission.

And yet... I don't feel like I'm "inspired just about every waking moment of (my) mission." Well, maybe not in the way people think that inspiration comes! 

I've found that, in order for me to be inspired, I need to start doing something. Many times, I just need to go. For example, a lot of times when I write emails home, I have no idea what to write about (today being a good example!). Another example would be on what to study... many times I have no idea what to study for a day, yet I find that just doing it is usually the best way for me to study. Or, another good example would be during our daily and weekly planning... many times, I don't feel exceptionally inspired when setting goals or figuring out who to see for the next day. 

Before my mission, I often thought that we had to be inspired first before we started doing inspired things. What I mean to say is I thought we had to have those epiphany moments in order to be inspired. 

However, what I've found is that that's not really how inspiration works for me on a daily basis. Instead, like I said, I need to start doing something in order for me to get inspired. I think this can be compared to when people are scared to make a choice because they don't know if it is inspired of heaven or not. It reminds me of this scripture from Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-28, which says:

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.
Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; 

For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

I discovered, or really first started to pay attention, to this scripture when I first hit the MTC and ever since then, it has really stuck with me. I've found that, in order to be inspired, one really has to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause" and then do things by our own free will. 

And that's the key! I've found that in order to do good things, it often comes to me on the fly when I'm anxiously engaged in a good cause. I'll give you a few examples:

• For our pancake activity, Elder Lala and I were doing our weekly planning session one day. I really wanted to do something for the branch and an activity in order to get people to come and see the Church... we were throwing around ideas and then all of a sudden, I remembered how Dad and Steve did a pancake activity on their mission... BOOM. Idea created.
  
• Once with Elder Legbanon, we were doing OVB... we basically had no idea what to do and neither of us had the courage to talk to anybody. So, what did we do? We just decided to pray in the middle of the street. Afterwards, we just started to walk. We didn't wait for somebody to come up to us nor did we wait for an idea to come to us. We just started walking. As we were walking, about five minutes later, both Elder Legbanon and I were inspired to talk to this one lady on the street. It went well, but long story short, we finally met her for the first time about a month later and she fed us some awesome food! One of the best mangez-vous ever (and with a brand new ami, first RV!)
  
• I don't know if I told you guys this story (I think I did) but a long time ago, over a year ago, when I was still having trouble with French, Elder Imoukuede and I went on a split together. Both of us being English speakers, we didn't know how to speak French very well. And to make matters worse, we were in my area, meaning I had to make all the shots. I was scared out of my mind that day. In the morning, we had a RV that was probably one of the worst RV that I had ever had in my mission. It was extremely discouraging... I didn't even want to go out for the afternoon after that epic failure of a lesson. But... we did. And then we come to another ami and we talked about the Book of Mormon and it was spectacular... I was so happy that the lesson went well... I felt the words just flowing out of my mouth and I didn't have any trouble communicating with our ami.

You see? Anxiously engaged in a good cause! As long as you keep doing what is right, good things will follow! Inspiration from the Holy Ghost will happen... but the key is that you have to be ready to be inspired... and usually, that means getting down and getting to work. Don't be hesitating... don't be waiting... don't be lazy! Just do it! 

I'm really thankful to have had these experiences, as well as many others, throughout my mission that have taught me this lesson. Many times we fear if we are doing the right thing, if we are being guided by God and the Holy Ghost... yet the Lord promises that if we have just a bit of courage... just a bit of faith, then He will work miracles through us! 

I wish you all a wonderful week! Keep going strong... enjoy the warm weather! Keep praying for spiritual experiences for me. Nothing really exceptional happened to me this past week, but there's no reason to get discouraged!

Just gotta be anxiously engaged... 

Love you all!

Elder Hawkins

Pic sent by Sis. Eastmond: They had no idea I took it, but the business was handled very professionally.
It was a phone call from Elder Gray, haha.

The Progression of an Ami

Hipster pic of my church building sign.

Okay, this week I am not going to start off by saying that this week has gone by quick. Why? Because I'm pretty sure that I start off my emails with that every week! Although, I think I might have foiled my plans in not saying this week has flown by in complaining about always talking about my weeks flying by. Dang it. 

So, yesterday I was thinking a lot about how, as a missionary, we run into tons and tons of people on our missions. Honestly, I felt like I've met the world in the 17 months that I have been on my mission. The scary thing is that I really haven't! 

But, I was thinking about the process that these people usually go through. Of course, there are exceptions to everything, but I wanted to outline the general phases that a missionary experiences with investigators.

That Awkward First Rendez-vous: Okay, this is pretty much true for any new ami that we get, whether it be by OVB or through a member contact. The first meeting almost always seems to be awkward because the ami really doesn't know what to expect from us. Some think that we are pastors who will be coming to their house so that they don't have to come to Church, others think we are prophets, everyone thinks we are Jehovah's Witnesses, and some are going through the first time of ever having a white person in their home. 

Usually, this meeting will be full of questions, ranging from "what the heck are you doing in Benin" to "so, what religion do you guys really belong to" to "so what do you guys know about the Freemasons?." Another reason why this RV is so awkward is because you really don't know if the person you are teaching is serious or not... however, I don't even think the ami knows if they're serious or not either! 

And of course, that awkward first RV always ends with that awkward first prayer. I say awkward because people here are also super scared to say prayers in front of others, fearing that we will ridicule them for their UNRIGHTEOUS PRAYING! Okay, that's just my theory, but in any case, it can be pretty awkward too because we always ask them who will pray (since it's at their house, they're usually the ones who get to pick). Now, whenever we ask that question, they almost always assume that means that they HAVE to pray so they get really awkward. That's when I jump in and just say a prayer.

It's pretty awkward.

The Honeymoon Stage: Wow! We made it through the first awkward rendez-vous and the ami has decided to accept us for a second rendez-vous (miracle!). This is when things start to get interesting because the ami now knows what the purpose of our lessons are (or should know... usually it takes a few times for them to figure that all out). If the ami read the brochure that we gave them, they will almost always have some good questions to ask us. This is the exact reason as to why I call this stage, the "honeymoon" stage. Their questions make it seem like they are very interested in our message. Even when we give them commitments to follow, they always say yes. 

You see, everybody is happy! The ami gets to have people come to their house and talk to them about God, the missionaries have people who commit to pray to know if Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, to know if what we're saying is true, etc. They even promise to come to Church on Sunday! As an added bonus, they even seemed to have an idea of where the Church actually is so you have the impression that they will really be there! Woohoo! I love missionary work! 

The Shattered-Dreams Stage: Okay, your ami didn't come to Church. Bummer. They seemed so interested! What else could we have done better for them to get excited about coming to Church? Offered them patte maybe? Ugh, what could we have done?!?!

Of course, the lessons that follow the first not-followed through commitment tend to be like the ones before, from the last stage. You kind of just pretend that they didn't keep their commitment, so you are still generally pretty happy and still believe that, if they do eventually come to Church one day, they will be baptized! 

This is also the stage where you see if people will really read the things that you leave them... and this is also the stage where people will start dropping you if they didn't drop you from the get-go. What I mean by that is RATEZ-VOUS... the dreaded ratez-vous... where missionaries' dreams go to die. 

The Sorting Your Amis Out Stage: Okay, after the stage where your dreams are shattered because your ami didn't come to Church, and didn't you were ratez-vous'd, you can generally sort out all your amis into these four categories. Again, it's not that every ami will fit into a category, but in general, they work.

• The Ami Who Comes to Church the Next Week: This is your dream investigator, if s/he didn't come to Church the first time you invited them (if they did come to Church the first week, then of course they are already great investigators). This is the guy who you know has a chance to progress and be baptized one day. This is what's known as your "progressing investigator."
• The Ami That Might Come To Church Once, But Probably Never Again: This is the ami that teases you. You see hope in them, plus they are always there for your rendez-vous, are very accepting of what you have to say, but... when it comes to showing their seriousness, eventually don't keep your engagements. And, eventually, they'll even just start giving you ratez-vous too. 
• The Ami That You Have Finally Figured Out, Is Really A Waste of Your Time: Okay, these amis are some of the worst. You had a little hope in them when you first started teaching them but you just realize that they don't understand anything that you're teaching them, or just don't want to. The biggest and most telling indicator of these amis comes from when they ask random questions. For example:
  
  "Okay, brother/sister so and so, do you have any questions on the Word of Wisdom?"
  
  "No, but I was wondering, where is Jerusalem? Some people say that it's in Africa"
  
• The Ami That Believes in Everything You're Saying, Accepts You Every Time, But Just Can't Seem to Come to Church: These guys are the toughest. You really want to keep teaching them, but you really have to ask yourself, as a missionary, if there aren't other people to see. I mean, you love them to death because they ask great questions, and read what you give to them, but you wonder if they will actually come to Church and progress. A lot of times, you gotta spend a couple of months with these guys because they usually have potential, but you just have to work with them.
  
  I remember, one of my amis in my first area, would not come to Church regularly. But we kept seeing him because he was always there, plus, he would read the stuff we would give to him in the Book of Mormon. Four months later, we did eventually baptize him!
  
  So, it all depends on one thing: your patience. Are you willing to stick it out and hope they start regularly coming to Church? Or will you just drop them and hope that you can find another ami that will progress? The answer is never straight forward nor clear cut. These amis are the toughest ones to figure out! 

Once your ami is sorted out into one of these categories you usually know how to move forward with each of them. Here are the next steps for each category.

• The Ami Who Comes to Church the Next Week: Fix that baptismal date! What are you waiting for, fool?!?!
• The Ami That Might Come To Church Once, But Probably Never Again: Fix a baptismal date with him, hope that will get him a little more serious. If the date comes and goes, well... pray about what to do next.
• The Ami That You Have Finally Figured Out, Is Really A Waste of Your Time: Awkwardly find a way to not come back. This usually just includes not fixing a next appointment and then avoiding their road for the rest of your mission. Not really. But kinda true.
• The Ami That Believes in Everything You're Saying, Accepts You Every Time, But Just Can't Seem to Come to Church: Pray and fast. Be patient. Hope that one day, even if you're not there anymore, they will progress!

Anyway, I hope that helps you guys understand what life is like between a missionary and an ami!

This week has flown by (dang it, said it again!). Thank you all for the prayers and the kind thoughts sent my way! I hope you all have an awesome week. If there's anything that I would like people to pray for me to have this week, it's to have a cool spiritual experience. I don't know why I'm asking for that, randomly this week, but I certainly do love them on my mission and they are the stories that will last with me (and maybe even you!) for a life time. 

Miss you all!

Love, 

Elder Hawkins

Cool beach pano that I took from our visit at Ouidah this past Monday.

Valentine hearts Fro sent that melted in my fridge. Yeah, don't know how that happens.

Cool pic of a beach road that Lala and I explored while at Ouidah.

Note from the Fro: Only TWO more Sunday's until I get to see his face on Skype for the LAST time before he comes home!!!!  How exciting is THAT?  

And yes, I do think that when they are working most of their days in the office, it is difficult to find those amazing spiritually uplifting moments.  At the same time, what a wonderful place he is at on his mission where THIS is what he is asking for, and not help with a companion, or with the language, or with Africa in general. It's been quite the journey, hasn't it? I hope our prayers for him this week will be answered.